Bringing home baby is a wonderful experience and I know there was nothing more comforting than watching my kids sleep in their bassinet for the first time. I loved that first month of my babies life, well actually I love all the months of my kids life, but there was a feeling in that first month that I was no longer an individual person but was in fact a mother to one and then two boys. It was exhilarating and nerve wracking and I felt like I was on a roller coaster of highs and lows.
I actually was on a hormonal roller coaster as my hormones went back to normal but there was much more than that. I was sleeping less, and suddenly my life was not completely mine anymore. I had to learn how to cope with not only a new role and schedule in my life but also with the care for someone else. I wasn’t completely lost when it came to giving care. I was after all an Early Childhood Educator and I was fresh out of college with a shiny new degree when my first son was born. I wasn’t shocked by any of the things that was going on but I quickly realized that all the courses in the world and all the experience I had taking care of other people’s kids, really meant nothing when it came to taking care of my own. I was, like millions of other parents before me, a new parent and I was (and am) going to make my share of mistakes.
Still, as I held my children close to my chest, rocking them in their little nursery and singing songs like “Baby Beluga,” “The Unicorn,” and our all time favourite “Crazy by Patsy Cline.” I didn’t worry about all those mistakes but simply enjoyed the quiet moments with my new babies.
Your baby during the first month:
During the first month of your baby’s life, he will spend a lot of time sleeping and eating but there will be moments when he is awake and experiencing new things. The main focus of interest will be on mommy and daddy and it is very important for trust to begin at this age. Cuddle your baby, talk to your baby and above all else, hold your baby when he is crying. Although there are methods of child raising that recommend having babies cry until they sooth themselves, it should never be practiced with a child that is this young. They simply do not have the knowledge or skills to sooth themselves and need a caring parent to sooth them.
In that first month, you will also find that your baby is crying often and it is not a planned behavior. A newborn infant really has no other way to express his emotions. When something is bothering them, they cry. It can be difficult to deal with at times and if you find that you are becoming frustrated with the crying, it is time to take a break and ask for help.
Caring for your new baby is very time consuming but i don’t really feel that it can be measured. You care for your baby’s needs by feeding him every 2 to 4 hours and changing his diapers, between 6 to 8 diapers per day. You give him a bath every other day to keep him clean and to avoid drying out his skin and you care for his umbilical cord until it falls off at 10 to 14 days. You do all of these things but you also spend hours running your finger over his smooth cheeks, placing your hand on his chest to make sure that he is still taking deep, peaceful breaths and you hold him as snuggles against you.
It is often surprising that during the first month, your baby is already learning and will meet a few developmental milestones in that time. By the end of the first month your baby should:
- Stop crying when you comfort him.
- Nurse well, whether this is through breastfeeding or through bottle feeding
- Look at you when you are holding him
- Startle at loud noises
Make sure that while your baby is going through all these new experiences that you take the time to have a few experiences just for you. Make sure that you do something for yourself each day and that you try to sleep whenever baby is sleeping. Also, don’t worry about the laundry, dishes or any other chore. They will get done sooner or later and the emphasis at this time is caring for yourself and your baby.
Above all else, simply enjoy these quiet moments because as motherhood has taught me, the older your child gets, the further apart those quiet moments become.
Sirena Van Schaik
